Friday, July 30, 2010

ZUMBA fitness!!

Some of you may be familiar with the relatively new fitness/workout craze known as ZUMBA. Yes the name is a little crazy but the concept and the class are GENIUS!!! Needless to say it may be one of the most popular movements in fitness since the thigh master in the early nineties. I would say form personal experience that it is the best invention EVER!!

For those of you unfamiliar with the movement, ZUMBA is an aerobic fitness class offered at many local gyms, spas, YMCA's and other local fitness establishments incorporating, salsa, bollywood, hip hop and other various forms of up beat dance genres put together to top forty type songs for about an hour at a time. And let me tell you it is a workout!! Every person I talk to, myself included, get a better workout during this 60 minute aerobic, non stop, class than running, biking, or elipticaling. I myself am worn out after a class. But I love it so much that I try to attend three classes a week.

On Wednesday, I began to look around the class at the various people crowding into the studio to take this class, and today I realized that there should be a certain etiquette to taking, following along in a ZUMBA class. They may seem trite, or even a bit ...gasp mean, but those of you who have taken one of these classes before may very well agree with me.

1. As with ANY type of clothing one may wear, it is not and I repeat NOT okay to wear a THONG under stretchy semi see through bottoms while doing squatting, lunging, and bending, to upbeat music, it is NOT cute to see the lines of your thong nad therefore your BUTT, Trust me I would rather see your pantie lines, than see you but jiggling around. Thanks!!

2. If you are not blessed with rhythm, and many of you know who you are....please, PLEASE do not stand in the front middle of the class. It throws everyone else off beat as well, this may be one of my biggest pet peeves. Not to say that I have the best moves in the world but really, if you are a step and a beat BEHIND the instructor, please move to ward the back or side of the class.

3. If you are a white, upper middle class, middle aged, stay at home mom, who comes to the class in order to release you inner "in da club" 80's moves, PLEASE...CONTINUE, it makes me laugh and gives me something to look forward to in the future, I hope I move like you when I am your age, and if your husband only knew how good your moves still are, then you are in luck.

4. If you happen to be one of those people who are blessed with great rhythm and good dance skills, don't try to show everyone else up, because this is annoying, and it makes others who do not have rhythm and are trying to get a good workout feel bad. So just tone it down a bit and stand in front so others can follow.

5. For those of you that may not sweat at all, like even after a half hour of heart pounding, heel stomping, booty shaking movement to hot music, throw some water on your face. It makes those of us who sweat just by sitting in a hot room feel well...GROSS when we/I am sweating thru all parts of my shirt, my hair is stuck to my scalp, and my face is scarlet, and you are hopping around in your little matching shorts and tee shirt, with your make up still neat, and your hair DOWN on your neck looking like you just blew it dry. This is just a personal observation, if you work out you should have to sweat!!

That is all my friends, if you have not tried a ZUMBA class I encourage you to do so. It is i the best workout you will ever have!!!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Fears of Graduate School!!!

So as some of you may know I am beginning my studies at Vanderbilt Divinity School this fall to finish my lacking courses needed to earn my MDIV degree. And while five years ago EXACTLY I was in this same position, many MANY things have changed in my life....and honestly some of this scares the you -know-what out of me, here are some

1. I feel OLD. I mean really OLD. Like almost a wheely bagger old. I mean really I know that i am not OLD...i am only 27, but compared to the young 22 that I was when I graduated college and moved to Atlanta to go to Candler, I am old....I always wanted to be a young graduate student who was jumping into the world on ministry at a young age, and now I feel like that is no longer possible.

2. I am not sure how I introduce myself to people I meet at Vandy...

"Hi I'm Karney, I am a pseudo first year, pseudo transfer, pseudo last year...."

"Hi I'm Karney, I am a loser transfer student who was lazy and made bad choices now I am here..."

Or better yet...

"Hi I'm Karney, and while I've been in theology school for almost four years I am now a transfer student who has to stick around for two more years because I just felt like getting an almost degree from one institution and racking up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt"

See this is hard

3. How do I approach classes/readings I have ALREADY taken/read and possibly even written/presented on?? You see we have mandatory reading for orientation...yes ORIENTATION at Vanderbilt. One of these such readings is from the amazing Flannery O'Connor, love her!! But the other is an article I read not once, but TWICE in Con ed. Do I read it again...taking better notes and therefore possibly being ahead in the plenary sessions, do I not read it at all and assume I still know what the article is about, or do I skim read the article to brush up and re jog my memory?? Now this may not seem like a big deal now in JULY when I am not in classes, but what about when I am in classes with five midterms to do??? what then??

4. The dreaded, so what are you here studying for?? Ministry? Academia? Teaching?
This question scares me because for the first time in 15 years I DO NOT KNOW the answer to this question. I don't. Five years ago I did, five months ago I did, five weeks ago I did, and honestly five days ago I did. And today I don't. And that my friends scares me, and for the first time i do not know what I want to do with my life.

5. What if I fail...again?? Now I realize this question may seem ridiculous, but my entire life....my entire academic life, I was ALWAYS at the top of my class, valedictorian, salutatorian, class officer, academic honors, major course of study honors, research awards, etc. And then graduate school, and more specifically second year of graduate school. And because I feel like I failed at Emory, I feel like I will now fail at any academic ventures I may take.

So I guess that is it....the top five fears I have about going BACK to graduate school. Feel free to leave thoughts....

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I'm Back....

Hello!! I know, I know, I have been gone for awhile now. And I admit I kind of forgot about the whole blogging thing actually. WHAT??? It is hard to make it part of your everyday life if you are not working at a desk with a computer on it most of the day....and yes i AM calling out all of my preacher type friends out there. But alas, I am here, back and better than ever.

I have a new topic....OLD NAVY. Yes in light of the recent economic status, and because I am going back to Graduate School in...one month!!! I have been trying to find employment that will allow me the flexibility to get my act together and go to class come August. While, I realized that OLD NAVY or a similar retail store would be the most likely place for me to gain employment, given my experience, and availability, I did not realize that amount of posting ammo I would gain for writing and of which to share my opinions. Today I had the pleasure of working a four hour shift from 2-6 pm. Yep right smack dab in the middle of the day. So on this beautiful Saturday afternoon when the temperature outside did NOT reach 95 degrees, for the first time in about three weeks, I was spending time with my fellow OLD NAVY colleagues folding clothes, and attempting to get themselves into even more debt by opening up an OLD NAVY credit card.

While working to day I did however meet some very interesting people, here are some of my encounters...

While on my way from the back room to get my assignment for the afternoon:
"Ma'am, you got any of these shoes in the back room?"
(woman holds up a pair of 2.99 flip flops from earlier this Spring, now in the Clearance section)

"No ma'am, I am sorry all the inventory we have in out on the sales floor!"

"Well then why you got them out here if you don't got no more?"

"I think they are left over from the Spring line, and that just happens to be the last pair, I am very sorry"

"Well what are you gonna do about it?"

(a bit confused) "I would be happy to call another store or look online for another pair in the size needed."

"NO! I don't got time to go all over the place looking for them, why don't you just give me this pair for the same price?" (holds up a pair of ladies dress shoes marked at 29.50....a higher price than the girls flip flops ever were, and clearly not in the same category other than they are both worn on feet)

"You want me to give you those shoes, for the price of these here?" (pointing to both pair of shoes as I speak)

"Well yeah, ain't that what you do here, that's your job right?"

"I can look at another store and try to find the shoes that are on sale, but no Ma'am I will not be able to give you the sale price on this pair of shoes"

"Fine, I didn't want them anyway!" (getting very angry and rolling her eyes, beginning to make a scene)

"Is there anything else I can help with?"

"No you have done enough!"

(Now at this point I walk to the front of the store, meet up with my manager and begin to tell her the ridiculous story of the encounter I just had in the Girls department. We both turned to go back toward the fitting rooms when we see, coming toward the front door, the same woman who wanted the sales price for brand new shoes walking toward us with a strange silhouette underneath her shirt...it was the heels she wanted....stuffed into her shirt....she was trying to steal them...)

"Ma'am, did you end up buying those shoes you wanted?"

"No, I just left them back there, I 'm not paying that for them cheap things."

"Well is there something I can help you carry it looks like your hands are full?"

"NO I am fine! I am leaving" (moves toward the front door, I step in front of her, looking directly at the shoes down her shirt)

"Ma'am I realize you are upset about the price of the heels, but I am not sure they are worth stealing."

"Stealing! Stealing? You think I am Stealing?" (making a huge scene, many customers are staring, another manager comes to the scene)

"Well yes I think you are, unless you just wanted to stick those heels down your shirt to use your hands to get your money out to pay for them"

"I can't believe you are accusing me of stealing....this is racial profiling, why would I steal?"

(manager steps in) "Miss, we are not accusing you of stealing because you have not left the store yet, we are simply trying to stop you from stealing, now if you will kindly reach into your shirt, and get those heels, and give them to me, I will gladly escort you out of the store, and you will be free to have a wonderful day."

(Woman looks shocked, reaches into her shirt through the neck, flashing all of us with her NO BRA chest, grabs the heels, and throws them across the aisle, and yells, "You happy now?")

(I look at he managers, and turn to the woman and say) "Yes I am, have a wonderful day and thank you for shopping at OLD NAVY"

Lady storms out, I and the managers are left laughing and rolling eyes.

I wish I could say the rest of my afternoon was as eventful as the first 30 minutes, but alas, all I did was help people in the fitting room, being flashed by people who feel the need to open the fitting room door...WHILE COMPLETELY NAKED....

Until later.....