So here I am three months after leaving grad school, Atlanta, a life of habit, friends to hang out with, a meaning for my life, and I am once again sitting at Panera Bread using free wireless to look for jobs, and other opportunities to make money. I left Candler with the intention of "taking a break." Taking a break from living on my own, taking out loans, being in class, writing papers, late nights of work, reading...and really thinking about ministry all together. I left Atlanta with no want or desire to learn about the church, work in the church, volunteer in the church, or even attend church. I was so broken and burned out that the last thing I wanted to do was pick up the Bible and read, sit with others in worship and talk about the majesty and greatness of the church, after I feel like the church has burned me, and left me at my time of need.
All this to say this week all of that has changed. I applied for a job at a church in Clarksville Tennessee, about an hour north of Nashville on the KY/TN border. think Fort Campbell Army base. I got an email and a phone interview about a Children's Director position at a large church there in town. There is a large military presence and for the first time I actually have a "try-out" of sorts on the 15th of March.
I have to plan and execute a children's Sunday School class and a children's Church time during the later part of the worship service. After receiving the materials and initial planning I have realized something....something I have always known since I was 16 years old...I am a minister, and I am called to be in ministry. It is in my bones, part of my soul,and there is nothing I can do to get away from that.
It is not the church that calls, or makes you a minister. It is not the church that is perfect or shows you unfailing love. It is not the church that saves you, or says whether or not you are qualified. No friends it is NOT the church...it is GOD!! the church is merely a vessel through which you learn and carry out ministry. The church is not perfect....but through the church we...no I am perfected by faith and by grace in a relationship with God.
So friends....what am I trying to say??
I am called to ministry...I want to be in ministry....I want to get a Master's in Divinity...and I want to serve God with my entire heart, soul, and mind.
So no I can't get away. As much as I try....as hard as I have tries I can't get away from the being that makes up who I am....and what I do. And I venture to bet that none of us really can get away from the love and calling God has on our lives.