A Year in review!!!

Hello again Blog family. I realize I have been absent for quite sometime now and have now decided to return to the family and conversation for now....i may very well see you again in a few months. Anyway, I have been reading up on other blogs in my family and have come to realize that well, I may just not be as funny as some other people...Erik...Becky....but I will give it a whirl.

Here is a quick update....
Vandy app is pretty much in and underway...I will keep you posted
Tootsie the dog is crazy as ever....
Titans, while giving much excitement to the AFC since their record tieing loss to the Patriots in October have officially lost the race for playoff wild card....guess I am pulling for the Colts.
Mom and dad are good and Christmas is over
Still hate my job, but is still paying bills....Barely!!
Still love football and am taking a liking to highschool basketball....who knew??

Well now that I have given an update I guess I will now announce my next venture in the life that is Karney. I guess you could say it falls within the lines of traveling...because I will be traveling more to the.....gym!! Yes friends for hte first time in my 26 years of life I will be making the resolution to Loose weight!!

Now many of you may be asking yourselfs, Karney why do you need this resolution?? Well friends the answer to that is that it takes quite a bit of time, effort, and energy to keep up a body such as mine!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

No really the reason is this....I stepped on a scale just for kicks and giggles the other day and realized that well the number I saw was not good....not good at all. So I decided I will jump on the beginning of the year wagon and resolve to loose weight!!!

Now a few weeks ago I decided I would get a personal trainer, you know one to teach me how to work out and not hurt myself. You know when you go to the gym spend time on the eliptical, lift a few weights to keep up with the cool kids and then wake up the next morning unable to move nad vow NEVER to go to the gym again....yeah I wanted to keep that from happening. She is good I like her....she is a skinny bitch but in the long run I think she will be good for me.

The first time we met she said..."you are really strong, I can tell you have a nice, muscular, athletic, build" I took that to be a compliment but really I think it was a trainers way of saying yeah you are fat, but I guess you can lift weights....

So I guess in a few words my next venture int he world of Karney is to ......drum roll please.....loose 75 pounds. Yes SEVENTY FIVE. I will post pictures soon and let you know how it is going.

"DISS" Harmony

Dear readers.....

As I entered the year of 2009 I made a few promises to myself: Loose weight, get a real job, run a 5K, and begin the journey of finding my "significant other." Now for those of you that know me well know that I have not been "actively" looking for a; make out buddy, random hookup, boyfriend, whatever for a few years now. So making this resolution is a big and scary step for me. As the summer got underway I saw a commercial for the popular "Christian" online dating service known as eHarmony. I saw this commercial and thought..."what the hell, what have I got to loose?" So I looked up eHarmony online and began the process of finding my "soulmate" or at least a few people to hang out with.

As I began the process of "looking" as they call it I had many decisions to make. The first of which being the length of time I wanted to subscribe to this online dating service. My choices: 1 month for 49.99, 3 months for 120.99, or 6months for 199.99, each with the option to renew at the end of the term. So I went to for it and decided that eHarmony should BillMeLater for the amount of 199.99, or 2 payments of 100.00. Hey I rationalized the cost by convincing myslef 200 dollars was worth it if I did actually find my mate.

My next few HOURS....yes HOURS were spent filling out numerous questions rating on a scale fro 1-10 the importance of things like religion, family, monogomy, food, temper, and sleeping habits. This computer site now knew more about me than my primary care physician. As I finished my profile, and "17 point questionaire" it was time to upload pictures of myslef so that other people could look at me and decide whether or not to start communication. I looked through my desktop of pictures, and even facebook, and realized that I do not have many flattering pictures of myslef at all. So ala I ended up putting pictures of myslef with various freinds, dressed for nice occasions and a picture with my mom....I figured well at least they will see the future Karney. One more click of the mouse and....drumroll please...matching was "ON"

Now for those of you who are not familiar with this online dating service let me give oyu a quick vocabulary lesson so to make the reading of this post even more enjoyable!!
Match: a person who has had his profile sent to you based on the answers both of you gave to the hours of questions
Communicating: the process by which you get to know the other person, through a series of "levels" BAsically a way to say NO WAY at any time
Open Communication: The level at which you and your match can email openly, exchange numbers, emails, IM, etc, and hopefully meet, fall in love and make babies!!
Closed: the point at which a match does not want to talk with you and basically blocks you from his profile in a nice way after sending you one 1 of 15 computer generated reasons not to talk to you.

Ok So matching is on...I have a few matches....I have even more closed matches....and open communication with about 7 guys.

This brings me to the week prior to Labor Day...
A week before I had come home from work, changed my clothes and had prepared myself to log on the eHarmony and see that all of my matches were losers, and that no one wanted to communicate with me. This had been the routine from the past few weeks. So you can only imagine my joy when I signed on to the site, viewed my profile and realized that not one, not two, but THREE matched had requested communication!!! I got nervous, "what if they don't like me, I was sick, what of they are weird" (this is possible seeing as how three of my previous matches with communication had been closed do to my wanting monogamy....sheesh Christian site???)
Anyway I saw the blinking exclamation marks next to all three of these matches and began the daunting task of reading profiles, looking a pictures, and answering "first questions" at the level 1 communication. I sent my first questions in response, and tried not to check my profile again until the next day. NO such luck!! 5 hours later I signed back in and GASP!!! One of my matches had sent back his "must haves/can't stands" So I agreed with them and sent mune back. I cloed my yellow Dell and then went to sleep.

The next day I repeat the routine, come home frm work, sign in, and once again all THREE matches were stillinterested in communicationg with me!! This continued for a week with all three guys moving through the levels of communication, until we reached the level of OPEN COMMUNICATION!!!

I being the playa that I am got all three IM names from the guys, but did not give out my phone number due to the fact that even psychos can be Chrisitians. IM went on for a few days and I realized one guy...Paul...was a nice guy but not so much dating material for me. JOnathan on the other hand...great dating potential! I was in the process of IM with both of these guys when one IM window popped up....wanna have lunch? I was so excited that I immediatley assumed it was Jonathan and responded...SURE!!

The date was set, I gave him my phone number to call with details and once agian went to bed.

I went to work the next told all my co-workers I was going on a date with a great guy I had met, they told to be careful, I let my parents know and of course prepared myself to fall in love, get married and make babies with this guy I had never met, but I was sure was perfect for me because well Dr. Warren of eHarmony said so.

Around 11:30 am I recieve a phone call from an unknown number. My stomach flipped, I got a giddy grin on my face and becasue I was on my lunch break I answered. This is the conversation that followed...

"Hello"
"Hey Karney....this is Paul"
(in my head....What the hell how did oyu get my number?)
"Oh heeeey, how are you Paul?"
" I am well. I figured I would call since you gave me your number."
"Well that is good, glad to hear from you."
"Yeah I am really excited to meet you, when would you like to have lunch?"
"Lunch?"
"Yeah remember you and I were talking about it last night on IM."
(At this point I realize that I had mistaken Paul's IM for Jonathan's, it was Paul I gave my number too, not Jonathan"
" Oh that's right, sorry it has been a long day. Well I guess we could go to lunch this Friday before I head out for my trip to IN."
"Yeah that would be good"
"Well leave me a message though I gotta get back to work"
"Ok will do. Bye Karney"
"Oh ok. Bye Paul"

At this point I am now throwing my phone on the table of the break room at work, and quitely cussing to myself, when a co worker somes in and asks what i wrong. I tell her the story and of course starts laughing and then proceeds to tell everyone else in the office what happened.

Well do to my wley actions over the next few days...aka...not answering my phone. I was able to dodge the lunch with Paul, and got to Indiana unscathed.

Now here is where the DISS comes in. To this day...yes three weeks following initial contact with Jonathan, and Paul the situation stands at this....

Paul...still calling, me still not answering
Jonathan...still no answer, no IM, and no call
Karney...still single, checking eHarmony daily, and paying intrest on 199.99

In the words of my good friends Mastercard:
Dell computer: 1200 bucks
eHarmony subscription: 199.99
being dissed by a Christian dating site: PRICELESS!!!

An update and promise to readers...

Hello readers,
Yes I am still here in the world of blogging. I have however been negligent in my posting do to...well there really is no excuse. However, now that it is football season and I will heave multiple hours of my weekends sitting in front of the television, I figure the least I can do is blog so my amazing readers can keep up with my thoughts.

Travels....
Well a few months ago I traveled to Pensacola to visit a friend of mine from graduate school. she and I lived together for year and I can say it was a year I will NEVER forget. The weekend can be summed up in these words...closed chapter, and bittersweet. I always look at this friend in two ways. One in a way that has me wishing I had her life. good job, steady boyfriend, cute hair, and features, family who loves her, and a life that is pretty much picturesque. In the second way, I would be lost if I were in her position, being completely out of ministry, looking at no real future in something I love, living at home with a family that is overbearing, and having a masters degree that I am using in no way at all.
I think about her often, but am somehow relieved that she is there and I am here.

Just last week i went visit another friend of mine from graduate school. this friend I did not live, with, and actually did not actually become good friends with her until my third year in Atlanta. While we worked together one Summer and we had many random outing to get vera bradley purses, it was not until our weekly ritual of dinner that I realized how great of a person this friend was. In fact I guess you could say that she is the Best of the best that I met in Atlanta. I stood with her at her wedding and remain close with her today.

These two travels were important in many ways. they bookmarked my summer....one over Memorial Day weekend, and the other over Labor Day weekend. The other is that these two women represent two VERY different periods of my life. Sort of in a way of what I was and what a aim to be. While I am very different in action, temprement, personality, and physically than either one of these ladies, there is still a part of each of them that is a part of me. I guess you could call this summer of the traveling Karney one of closing one door and continueing to walk through another.

So friends there it is a post to get me off the delinquent list and a little bit of a teaser for the rest of the year. Hope youa re all doing well and hope to hear from you all soon.

The Real World....

I have always loved reality television. I mean i really can't remember a time I did not like it. Now i am not talking about the "Judge Judy" courtroom shows or the "Jerry Springer" who is my baby's daddy shows but instead I am referring to the "Real World," Road Rules," "Real Housewives of Orange County" type of shows. they fascinate me. So much so that in college I did a school wide psychological experiment with my classmates and won an award for it. I love reality TV!!

You may ask "Karney, WHY??" To this I answer....It makes me feel better about myself....and I learn a lot about other people and their actions. All this to say....
The MTV 12 year phenomenon of "The Real World" putting 7 strangers in a house to live and work together.....is NOT the REAL WORLD.

I am currently three weeks into the "real world." Where people have to get up, go to work, come home, try to make ends meet, find time for their families and friends and live in a society that holds them accountable. this my friends is the "real world."

Things are good and I love my job....still looking for another part time job...but benefits are taken care of. til then.....don't be ignorant (in the word's of JIll)

And the time for Adulthood Has Cometh

So after 20and 1/2 years of schooling, 10 summer jobs lasting three months at a time, Full time ministry at part time pay, hourly retail jobs, and three months of sitting around the house being nagged by my parents......i start a job. Like a real job....not a part time need to pay off my credit card job and real adult job with all kinds of responsibility.
Monday I begin my job as a a bank teller for SunTrust bank INC. I am now an employee of the federal division of commerce (or something like that). This means that every day I will awake at 6 am...and drive approximately 30 miles to stand at a window and deal with people's money....most of which will probably be making more than I will but still I will have a job.
I train for three weeks (two in the classroom and one on site) and then begin my time as a money pusher....oh the thrill!!

Now you may be asking yourself..."Karney, why is this such a big deal?" Well my friends I though the same thing until I was hired and realized that a drug screen and fingerprinting were involved...from now until the end of time I am in the federal database...they will definitely be able to track me. And who knew the drug testing would be so serious....they actually went in the room with me to watch me pee...oh seriously like I was going to take the stash of urine out of my belly button and use it??

Anyway all of this nonsense to say....I am really excited...and thankful that i found a job with benefits (401K, HMO, PPO, IRA, IIA.....). Ask me in a few weeks if I am still as excited.

Can't Get Away

So here I am three months after leaving grad school, Atlanta, a life of habit, friends to hang out with, a meaning for my life, and I am once again sitting at Panera Bread using free wireless to look for jobs, and other opportunities to make money. I left Candler with the intention of "taking a break." Taking a break from living on my own, taking out loans, being in class, writing papers, late nights of work, reading...and really thinking about ministry all together. I left Atlanta with no want or desire to learn about the church, work in the church, volunteer in the church, or even attend church. I was so broken and burned out that the last thing I wanted to do was pick up the Bible and read, sit with others in worship and talk about the majesty and greatness of the church, after I feel like the church has burned me, and left me at my time of need.

All this to say this week all of that has changed. I applied for a job at a church in Clarksville Tennessee, about an hour north of Nashville on the KY/TN border. think Fort Campbell Army base. I got an email and a phone interview about a Children's Director position at a large church there in town. There is a large military presence and for the first time I actually have a "try-out" of sorts on the 15th of March.

I have to plan and execute a children's Sunday School class and a children's Church time during the later part of the worship service. After receiving the materials and initial planning I have realized something....something I have always known since I was 16 years old...I am a minister, and I am called to be in ministry. It is in my bones, part of my soul,and there is nothing I can do to get away from that.

It is not the church that calls, or makes you a minister. It is not the church that is perfect or shows you unfailing love. It is not the church that saves you, or says whether or not you are qualified. No friends it is NOT the church...it is GOD!! the church is merely a vessel through which you learn and carry out ministry. The church is not perfect....but through the church we...no I am perfected by faith and by grace in a relationship with God.

So friends....what am I trying to say??

I am called to ministry...I want to be in ministry....I want to get a Master's in Divinity...and I want to serve God with my entire heart, soul, and mind.

So no I can't get away. As much as I try....as hard as I have tries I can't get away from the being that makes up who I am....and what I do. And I venture to bet that none of us really can get away from the love and calling God has on our lives.

5 Years From Now...

So I know it has been awhile....well five months to be exact. So for my friends I am here updating my blog and hoping to continue on a regular basis.

So to update those of you who may be out of the loop... I am in Nashville now, no longer at the Candler School of theology and living with the parents. I must say that five years ago I never in a thousand years dreamed that I would be in the place I am in right now. It just goes to show that good plans and a few years can change everything.

I am currently unemployed and while people continue to tell me that it is the state of the economy, not me that is to blame still question the decision to leave Candler. I figured it would have been an easier transition for me to make...a few weeks out of work and I would be employed living the life I dreamed of when I left school. While I am glad that I am NOT in school right now I can't help but want something productive to do in my life, other than reading Twilight series and watching Days of Our Lives.

I call my friends and they are all doing the thing I had planned on doing...pastoring a church. I envy them and I wish them all the luck in the world...but I somehow wish that my dream was coming true too.

Don't get me wrong I am in a great place and I am very blessed...i have a roof over my head, food to eat and a loving family...I guess it is hard becasue five years ago I never thought this would be my reality.